My mom didn't eat dinner with us tonight. She went upstairs. My dad tried to get her to come down. They ended up arguing.

It ended with my mom telling my dad she hated him.

Hate is a very strong word. A word that I use too often. I don't really hate anyone. I don't want them to die. I really dislike some people, but I don't hate them.

Isn't it strange, how my last entry was about love and this one is about hate?

I'm very confused and scared right now. I don't know what's going on in my life. I just want everything to be the way it used to be. It feels like it's my fault that my parents fight. I know that they, whoever they are, say that it's never your fault when your parents fight, but I feel like it is. Because my mom is siding with me and my dad isn't.

I really can't explain it.

I want my old, normal family back. I want my old life back. I miss being able to tell my friends anything. I can't really even talk to Jeremy any more.

Speaking of which, things have just been going downhill the past couple of days. I want everything to be better again. And in some ways, I don't. I don't know if I want to be with him anymore.

I want to disconnect myself from everyone and everything and just cry.

August 08, 2004 at 7:29 pm